All of these excuses are the choicest of the crop,

But now I realize all these excuses gotta stop!

The longer we know a person, the better we understand them and to figure out what is true to their nature. We also pick up patterns and behaviours that are uniquely theirs. Through growing friendship, respect and love, we come to accept that the people closest to us aren’t perfect, but they are perfectly acceptable to us. We learn to work around their foibles, lean on their strengths and enjoy them for who they are. Part of this understanding also extends to the excuses they make; we know what to ask, how far to push, what not to do, and if we step over the line, we can anticipate how they will react and what they will say in defence.

The same should be true about our own self understanding. We might not realize it, but we all have our own set series of excuses ready for all occasions. The one’s I’ve shared are unique to me; at least the combination of them is. No doubt that you recognize yourself in a few of them; you might even see a friend popping up and spouting one or two of them. But you also have your own reasons for avoiding things, or doing the things you do. Your excuses and mine have been cultivated carefully for as long as we’ve tried to avoid unpleasant chores. They are the choicest of our own personal crop, the often unconsciously studied result of our own preferences and limits.

To know ourselves is to know our excuses. To know our excuses is to have the tools to deal with them as they deserve. Some of our excuses are legitimate; they speak to the truth about ourselves, reflecting our giftedness, or lack thereof; they speak to our possibilities and our limitations; they admit, honestly and openly, that we are who we are and we do what we do. Those are the legitimate side of our having to explain ourselves to the world. They might not all be funny, but they are our reality.

Other excuses aren’t so healthy; they are more reflections of our lack of self-awareness or our less positive traits. They are reasons to limit ourselves and keep from growing; they are ways to be stubborn when we simply don’t want to do something, even if we know it’s the right and necessary thing for us to get done.

The big trick is getting them out into the open, to give them a voice and listen to what they say about us. My own collection has allowed me to explore myself as I ponder them more deeply. A few are simply the truth about me. Some are pure poetic fabrications that speak to someone, but not necessarily to me. Others give me pause and make me wonder if I shouldn’t look at them even more closely. One or two describe folks I know to a ‘tee.’

What’s your excuse? Which carefully reasoned explanations for the things you do and the person are you are your choicest of the crop? Which ones speak the truth? Which ones need dealing with? Which ones gotta stop?