Excuses
Excuses
Excuses: you’ve seen the video, you’ve heard the song, you’ve wondered about the lyrics. This is where you get a chance to delve into the meaning and theology of the song.
I’d like to stand up tall but its much easier to sway
When I introduce myself to a Youth group, I describe myself as a brick wall with really, thick padding; you can run at me with all the wild, outlandish ideas you like and I will never react in a way that hurts or discourages you but if you push hard enough, you will learn that is a core within me that is fixed and secure. I have a certain set of values that define me and from which I will not stray; what I believe, I believe with absolute certainty that is unswayable. That’s not to say I am stubborn or inflexible; I can adapt to a changing environment and will take a different tack if my current path is leading nowhere. The manner in which I adapt, however, is determined by who and what I am at my core. I easily made the switch from working in the secular world to following a more religious path but I pursued both careers from the point of view of being kind and helping folks. Love of neighbour as myself, faith in an loving, caring God who only wants the best for humanity, doing what is right even if it means going against the grain, these are the fundamental truths that I believe define me; they are the root that sustains and nourishes me, the core that holds me up and keeps me standing in the face of whatever adversity and challenges threaten to knock me down.
At least that’s what I would like to believe. What is seen in the light of day is quite a bit different from what I think I am in the dark recesses of my mind. Compromise and cutting corners are the orders of the day as I make my way through life. I am not always as confident as I make myself out to be. There are moments and even seasons when my faith is more shifting sand than solid rock. Sometimes when I’m driving and somebody does something I perceive as dangerous or discourteous, it is difficult to see my loving and caring side. As much as I would like to think that I am a steadfast person that is constantly true to my core essence, I am anything but.
Mob mentality can turn even the nicest people into raging lunatics. When caught up in a frenzy of activity, there is some tribal instinct that seems to kick in and cause us to dow hat the crowd is doing, even if it isn’t something we might normally do ourselves. Similar to the hypnotists participants not wishing to seem out of place by countermanding his suggestion, a disorganized group of people can almost instantly be stirred into cohesive action that is not the norm for the majority of them. Somehow, mob mentality can overcome even the strongest backbone. It’s not always bad; there have been a number of occasions in which good things have resulted from a group of people have suddenly come together. Recently a number of folks helped a man free himself from certain injury and possibly even death. While boarding a subway car, he somehow managed to trip and get his leg caught between the platform and the train. His fellow train-riders saw his dilemma and, as one, started to push the train away from the platform. The crowd, by dint of their combined strength, were able to move the heavy subway carriage just enough for the man to free himself before the train had to move or he sustained any further injury. In this case, normally placid and uninvolved commuters swayed from their self-absorbed complacency in response to a need that appeared suddenly, out of nowhere.
We sway because truth is hard to discern amidst the clutter of modern day communication. Sales people and organizations mask themselves within social media, using any number of methods to persuade us to purchase their products or services. We see them as part of the natural order of things, of how our world functions, and we are quietly, subversively swayed to believe that there is no other product or system that can perform as well or serve as effectively and that all others are inferior, pale imitations of the real thing.
Orators, whether teachers, preachers or politicians, use their personal skills and the power of repetition to sway us to a particular way of understanding, or believing. Teachers open our eyes to lessons and knowledge that are either completely foreign to us or not yet discernible in their deeper details. They must help us clear our minds of the fear of failure or the disinterest that plagues all students; then the must imbue us with a new learning that might be uncomfortable or difficult. Their power to sway us is used to advance our insight and to further equip us to thrive in our environment and achieve our full potential. Preachers similarly provide a learning opportunity to students of faith, but couple it not with just teaching facts or figures, but a way of life that follows a highly select system of beliefs and behaviours. Often standing against the demands and desires of society, the preacher must help her congregation sway in accordance with the will of their god while resisting the temptation to sway in ways opposed to their chosen deity or belief system. Politicians have the onerous duty of trying to bring together a disparate population in order elect them into office so that they can, in the best of worlds, serve that population honestly and justly. The would-be mayor has to sway a people that have wide range of nationalities, incomes, education standards and perception of the world that his vision for their city is the one that will best meet their needs and the good of their hometown.
In each instance, the student, the churchgoer and the constituent have both a great deal to gain and a great deal to lose. In the hands of unscrupulous or uncaring teacher, a young mind can be confused or abused to the point where learning is a chore or the information woefully biased. The family in the pew may well be inspired to live better and to follow the noblest tenets of their religion, but they could just as easily be made to follow the unholy agenda of a preacher or faith system that only believes in the bottom line or that singles itself out from the rest of society with ideas that are contrary to god and man alike. The politician only in it for the power and the glory can sell his supporters and constituents on a bill of good that sounds great from the podium, looks great on paper and even feels right to the populace, but turns out to be nothing more than bait-and-switch game that gets him into power and his electorate into trouble. We can be swayed in ways that help us and advance the common good as we follow the narrow path, but in the wrong hands, we can also be swayed to follow the broader roads that leads to no good place.
We should sway a little bit. A tree branch cannot resist against a gentle breeze or strong wind. It would be far too heavy for the tree and cost it too much in terms of nutrition. Better that it be flexible so that when a squirrel lands on it or a storm rages against it, it sways in order to counteract the stress placed upon it. When we are pushed, it is better to sway just a little bit in order not to break. Simply gritting our teeth and holding our breath when listening to an opinion counter to our own requires a great deal of physical and emotional energy. Better that we be flexible enough to listen to the words and acknowledge them, to understand not only what is being said but why the person is speaking that way, to agree to things that are of no consequence, even if they are disagreeable, and to accept that not everyone thinks the same way we do. When we sway a little bit in the face of disagreements we then have the energy to determine whether or not we should respond, what we should say if a response is necessary, and what to do when silence is the best answer. Who knows, perhaps in the process of bending a little bit, we might also draw a little closer to the person that is contrary to us, not because we suddenly agree with them, but because we better understand what they are saying and perhaps even come to the realization that their perspective is just as valid as our own. We might even learn something new in the process. Like a branch that goes momentarily in the direction of the wind then returns to its original position, a little bit of swaying can make a difficult situation easier to bear.
While a little sway is good, too much is not. The phrase bending over backwards comes to mind. We all want to get along. Most folks want other people to like them. It’s a natural way of behaving in a world with so many diverse people. It’s much easier and more pleasant to deal with folks positively and to make friends out of strangers. A little bit of swaying helps, a little bit of accommodating oneself to the peculiarities of a given situation and the people involved. You might not be in the best mood, but giving a smiling barista a smile in return is a nice gesture. The cashier might be meticulous and exacting, causing her to take more time than you think necessary to get you out of the store; might as well relax and let her serve you in her own way rather than getting frustrated at the way she operates. These are normal, healthy ways to interact. It’s when we go too far that we get ourselves into trouble; the barista that greeted you with a smile might also be the person that is pushy and constantly trying to upsell their product. Don’t have the regular coffee; try the new improved snob-acino. Go for a large rather than your regular small. Add a couple of shots of flavouring; it’s only a coupla-bucks. Have a biscotto or a muffin with your extra-large, double shot snob-acino; you’re worth it. Before you know it your small regular coffee becomes something that you never intended to order, is far too expensive for your budget, and costs you more calories than you desire. Bending over backwards to keep a smiling barista happy isn’t good for him or for you; it doesn’t meet your needs or true self, and only empowers him to take advantage of other accommodating folks. It’s important to stand up tall and to honour yourself; a little swaying doesn’t hurt, as long as it’s on your own terms.
Thursday, January 31, 2019
I’d like to stand up tall...